Listening Takes the Right Mindset

How Do You Get There?

When I’m at an event meeting people, I often forget names. Can you relate? Listening is a vital skill, but it’s undeniably challenging. While listening techniques can help, the right mindset is even more critical. This listening mindset aligns with Patsy Rodenburg’s concept of the three circles of energy.

1st Circle

In this circle, our focus is inward or elsewhere. I call it the distracted circle. Here, our attention may be consumed by a mental to-do list, a device in our hands, or emotions like fear or intimidation. While we might hear others, we’re not truly listening. And people can sense our detachment.

3rd Circle

This circle centers on outcomes. I call it the controlling circle. Here, our focus shifts to responding, steering conversations, persuading others, or maintaining authority. This push-and-pull energy is palpable, and others feel its intensity.

2nd Circle

The 2nd Circle strikes the balance. It’s neither distracted nor controlling but fully present. In this mindset, we connect with others, seek understanding, and remain in the moment. True listening resides here.

Getting Into the 2nd Circle Listening Mindset

Like many significant events in life—meetings, speeches, competitions—effective listening requires preparation. How do we prepare ourselves to truly listen?

Let Go of Distractions

• Write down your thoughts or tasks to revisit later, clearing mental clutter.
• Create a distraction-free environment by putting devices away and minimizing interruptions.
• Foster a culture of boundaries, ensuring toxic behaviors don’t interfere.
• Use practices like prayer, breathing exercises, or a short walk to reset and refocus.

Let Go of Control

• Treat your ideas and plans as flexible options rather than rigid goals. Writing them down may help.
• Embrace curiosity by asking yourself: What don’t I know? What could I learn?
• Shift your mindset to collaboration. Think in terms of “we” and expect to co-create the conversation.

Conclusion

Mastering the listening mindset is about cultivating presence. By stepping into the 2nd Circle, we open ourselves to authentic connection and meaningful dialogue. True listening isn’t just about hearing words—it’s about understanding and being fully engaged in the moment.