The Art of Saying ‘No’

Many leaders struggle to say ‘NO.’ Good leaders care about their people and want the details right, but sometimes these strengths backfire. They lead us to say ‘YES’ to things we shouldn’t. There’s a way out of this trap: a bigger ‘YES.’

Let me share a story. I once spent an entire summer printing and filing papers. I wasn’t an intern or an entry-level employee. These papers didn’t serve any legal or record-keeping purpose. So why did I do it? I couldn’t say ‘NO’ because my ‘YES’ wasn’t clear.

The easy answer is that my boss told me to. She didn’t trust computers and felt secure knowing she could go to the file cabinet and find every document and email printed and sorted. But I never saw her actually open that file cabinet! I still couldn’t ignore her directions.

So what was the answer? A bigger ‘YES.’ I needed to show her what I’d be doing instead—work that would matter more. When I could point to specific goals and explain how my time could be better spent, she accepted my ‘NO.’ This change didn’t just make a difference to me; it took our entire program from the bottom to the top in a few short years.

How to Say ‘NO’ with Confidence?

The key to saying ‘NO’ is a bigger ‘YES.’ Here’s how to make that happen:

1. Vision, Strategy, and Goals

Where are we going? How are we getting there? What are our short-term goals to stay on track? Clear answers to these questions will reveal what deserves attention—and what doesn’t.

2. Clearly Defined Roles and Responsibilities

What roles do we need to make the strategy work? Who’s best suited for each role? Who owns this week’s crucial tasks? Clear roles empower each person to say ‘NO’ to what they don’t own.

3. Daily and Weekly Prioritization

What matters most this week? When will each person be held accountable for completing those tasks? And what’s on today’s priority list? These answers help us say ‘NO’ to good things that aren’t the best things.

4. Use Your Calendar as a Commitment Tool

Which priorities are missing from the calendar? When are your most productive hours, and are they booked for the right work? What’s crowding your calendar that can be canceled? Important tasks should show up as focused time blocks, meetings, or appointments. Use the calendar to guide both your ‘YES’ and your ‘NO.’

Saying ‘NO’ gets easier when your ‘YES’ is clear. Anchor your work in priorities that matter most, and watch as ‘NO’ comes naturally.